I feel like a panda just shit rainbows on my mind
my roommate left her license, credit card, and cellphone on her desk. I feel like this is a trap.
Even if you were sober, spitters are STILL quitters, end of story.
mom and dad are leaving for florida on 4/20, this is a sign
we hotboxed my bathroom. with nine people and two dogs.
He asked me if we could throw a lingerie party together so I guess he's single again
No sex in the champagne room. The champagne room being my life
Can we just talk about the fact that the last time I got laid I was wearing a Jurassic Park tshirt?
my god I love twenty year old dicks
I feel like him using the excuse "I'm not a fan of lying" to stop me from sleeping around is hypocritical since he's cheating on his wife with me.
All I want to do is lay in my bed and eat hotdogs
I got wing sauce on the baby and licked it off. If you were wondering how I'm doing.
Too hungover to brush my teeth. took a swig of menthol schnapps instead. lazy or incredibly efficient?
Youre my hero
It true. It written in the Bible.
Yes I remember that, right next to the passage where jesus said unto his disciples, pop molly, fuck bitches amen
Let the healthy eats/juice cleanse begin. Today is day 1
Have you cleansed yourself of the boy yet?
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