Nipple clamps can be ambiguous
She seriously needs to find another hobby other than bouncing on cock.
There is somethin about your sexuality that makes my dick do jumping jacks when I see you
Just got my period. I'm not pregnant with Scott's child and I won't be having any sex tonight. This must be what they mean by bittersweet.
You know your in college when you decide house chores with games of beer pong...
Is she bent over a couch yet or did daylight savings time throw off her usual schedule?
thanks for waiting 12 hours to ask if I was in a ditch or not
French people screaming and throwing stuff out the window. We told the manager and he's pissed and going up there. This is gonna be like cops. Maybe better than cops.
By this time tomorrow I expect us to be sitting at the kitchen table either playing a drinking game, or crying. Set an alarm
If you feel like laying around and watching a movie, that's where I'll be for the next several hours not moving, blaming others, and generally feeling sorry for myself.
You fucked her?! HER?!
She sent me a nudie pic with a bunch of weed nuggets all over her tits...what was I supposed to do? I don't hate America sir.
Oh, honey. If you're seeing a girl just for the sex, never doubt that she knows and she's doing the same thing. We're not stupid, we're just craftier than you.
Just got offered a dog by two Meth head's one of which wasn't wearing shoes and continually saying "fuck"
Can't decide if it was more awkward buying sheets together or disposing of them afterwards
What?? I could've slept with an ordained minister!
Randomize
