Can i come over
After you called me a desperate slut? No
Come over
Dude, I just had an awesome rave/orgy with like bunch of hot Asian chicks on a cable car. It was like being in a Gwen Stefani video, cept w/o the bad spelling
God, I love San Francisco.
Never let Scott cook bacon and eggs at 2am while drunk. You should have seen the flames.
If I die tonight, I want you to know that your sister is awesome in bed
that's almost as bad as that time i almost ashed in a baby carriage
watching "look who's talking now." getting choked up at the end when they find each other at the cabin
doesn't that movie star kirstie alley and have talking dogs in it? new low...even for you
Dear vodka that I hid in a water bottle in the backseat of Blairs car, I'm sorry that she gave you away to a man on side of the road with an over heated engine. I'm sure the car doesn't appreciate you as much as I would have.
my mouth is as dry as a post-menopausal camel on antidepressant's vagina.
The least you could do before I go into your room is throw away the condom wrapper from the other girl I know you're banging.
We're like a dynamic duo.
Bisexual and Proud, Lesbian and Loud.
What's your ideal size in a man?
I just asked if you could cover my shift tomorrow......
Did I hit my head yesterday? I have a bump on the back of it. Also I just want you to know that I don't blame you for me taking my bikini top off. If I want to be shirtless no man or woman on this earth can stop me.
Every time I burp I plan an escape route because I'm scared I'm gonna puke on grandma
dude it was our first time and her hair caught on fire from the candles on the nightstand
There is no way that actually happened!
the smell of burnt hair covered up the sweaty sex smell.
She was shaving her legs in the neighbors pool when we found her.
Where'd she get the razor?
Not the point.
Randomize
