Canada: barely better than America at a sport they invented.
If I don't have herpes this will be the single greatest day of my life
did we cross streams again? the only thing I remember is seeing a dick
Who topped off the "random beer mix" beer bong with a pinch of pepper?? All you could taste was busch and pepper...
Living room yoga. I'm too hungover to deal with anyone else's chi today.
He was dressed as ron burgundy and his pickup line was "dont worry, i wont make you jump in a bear pit."
I feel like a blind man at a water park. Every step has the potential to be either fatal or lead to accidental, but totally enjoyable, sex.
No worries. On my way home to get ski poles and wipe the sick off my face. Then it's time to get drunk in the park
I may not have eyeballs after all the drunk naked people having sex outside.
Well, you know sobriety isn't something I like to do on the reg.
why am i naked
you took off your clothes at the party and some guy took them home
Got an egg Mcmuffin combo, and put the hash brown in the sandwich. That level of hungover
Something tells me tonight will end with me wearing my pants on my head again.
At what point can I admit that I hate going to house parties?
I don't wanna stand in your shitty kitchen making small talk while I guard the quality booze I brought.
Long story short I ended up getting choked out by a really hot guy in the girls bathroom at a bar last night
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