i just google searched 'can you pop your ovary'
I wish they had a home preganacy test, but for STDs
i just made a girl do the walk of shame. as a bumblebee. i love halloween.
When she talks to me all I hear are 5 generations of inbreeding speaking.
Well regardless of which drugs we choose to do tonight until four in the morning, we are having a wii bowling championship. So choose carefully.
Apparently I took one a huge picture off the wall at the bar and was walking around dancing with it..
Please delete that video of me blowing you. I will repay you with 100 blowjobs even better than the one I gave you during that video. Please. I am gonna be a grandma one day.
I will not remember tonight for the most part. This text will be evidence. You can and probably will use this against me.
Time for jim to play the "dont seriously consider pooping in the trash" game
Vague recollection of me ripping your shirt off at the bar... I hope I asked first, otherwise that's real rude.
I no longer exist. I have transformed into a puddle of sex.
it was just another one of those moments where you unfriendzone a friend you assumed to be gay
Also I just took the BEST ass selfie of my adult life.... it's gonna be a good day haha
He took me out to dinner to tell me we had to stop fucking so randomly
Honestly wish he pleased me as much as queso does
Wow this just keeps getting better, weed, shrooms, a stripper..........a gun.
Randomize
