Fake titties should be able inflate and deflate like tires. So on Saturday you can put on your Double D hooker titties or Sunday put on your size B church tits.
WHY are the edges of my bra charred???
I managed to fit my wallet, my keys, my phone, Tammy's necklace, and $38.50 all in my bra. and $1.50 is in quarters. go me.
you say it like running around in your thong wasted is a bad thing
Nope, I'm sticking to passive aggressive punishments. Like mismatching his socks and cumming on his leather couch. OCD is so wonderful.
First Thanksgiving as a grown up: My step dad had to take my brother (who still smells like booze) and I both to our cars this morning, apparently we were at the same bars (same stamps), & I think I broke my elbow. Im thankful to be alive & not incarcerated.
We sent off fireworks off in the taco bell drive through. They're taking it way too seriously.
Because I can't get laid, I'm day-drinking and hunting squirrels in the backyard. You can take the girl out of Montana...
I'm going to sing sad and lonely Barbra Streisand songs at the top of my lungs if you don't get here soon
He told me that he's proud of our abnormalcy as a couple. I think it's the most romantic thing he's ever said.
She made me pour olive oil on her.
I really would enjoy sexual intercourse with you.
Most formal booty call EVER
I promised her before I left that I'd make good choices and then got drunk and fucked my best friend and her boyfriend.
FYI brushing your teeth & taking off your makeup does not erase the shame from the night before
You're like a care bear with a big cock & a sexual prowess that would put the mighty Thor to shame.
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