Yeah, i think she was German or something.
No dude, she's just got a speech impediment.
therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
Okay call me later ill be watching lifetime and scrubbing throw up off my feet
i just woke up naked on my porch, holding the neighbors cat in my arms.
We're official. Living with your boyfriend sounds so much better than fucking your roommate.
You are the sheppard guiding my vagina away from horrible decisions.
Well, i'm not sure how that works so i wish both you and your vagina luck on your voyage.
I think her version of saying goodnight was being flung over a guys shoulder as he said, "Bitch. You don't need no shoes."
he has decreed that i can sleep with anyone who has the same name as him. line up all the toms
Apparently she has a 10 week old kid, which would explain the hallway effect I was feeling.
Oh my god. I slept with my boyfriend last night. It was wonderful.
And when I say my boyfriend I mean my electric blanket. Because that's the kind of life I lead.
It's meant to be, Cynthia. You, him, and your developed breasts are meant for each other.
Do you remember peeing in the sink while I was throwing up?
No ma'am, I do not. I found a video of us trying to do a trust fall though. Emphasis on the trying.
a homeless man let us know that my friend was asleep in the bushes outside my house on main street. So just a small get together.
not sure if actually covered in glitter or just drunk
Randomize
