i miss you and i wish you were peeing between my legs right now. in a platonic way
fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
The greatest thing of my life happened today. I took a shit and it formed a smiley face. It's going to be a fucking fantastic day.
Wouldn't pinatas filled with coke be awesome idea for cinco de mayo?
I mean I knew we were putting on quite a show but I didnt realize HOW good until I woke up and 4 people were passed out with their ears to the bedroom door.
We left the bar in 2 bicycle cabs. It cost thirty bucks and they took us to the wrong hotel. When we finally made it to the right one we ended up in a room with three randos from alaska. Jammed out with them for like an hour. Those inuits are good guitar players
My goal is to go an entire semester without cocaine. That's an adult goal right?
Just saw a couple do like 5 Sakai bombs and my dad goes "who says love is dead"
I just sold my hat for three car bombs. I call that a win.
He took me out, we slept together, and he sent me home this morning with fresh cantaloupe. #husbandstatus
"Accidentally" bump into him after class.
I'm gonna "accidentally" put his dick in my mouth.
I feel like the dump I just dropped is the most successful thing I've done so far today.
Also lets pinky promise right now that we will NOT play "Pony" outside of each other's rooms if we have a hook up over
Are you opposed to me trying out your penis?
You know that tattoo place next to Dallas? The naked sexy frog on my neck is proof that their "won't tattoo if drunk" sign is bullshit!
Randomize
