I accidentally burped into my bong.
i think i just puked on my phone
we live great lives
He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
So i just bought beer on a credit card, using a fake ID, while wearing my nametag from work. All 3 have different names on them. God i love my boobs.
Does transporting jello shots count as driving with an open container?
I don't think blacking out in class is a good idea. But I'm game
I'm sure that's not what the inventers of the Turkey baster had in mind, but that's what I had in mine.
I have to cancel. My sons dad is out of jail unexpectedly and i'm kinda an emotional wreck. P.s. This is not the life I dreamed of as a little girl.
Bright side: maybe hell start being nice to you now that you know he has erectile dysfunction.
Well, I guess you are not meant to have this fucking picture of an adorable baby duck.
Of course I'm going to see her again. She had waterproof handcuffs in her shower.
I have loved her ever since she went down on my first wife
How do I put this... You're dating Ricky from Trailer Park Boys. Stop eye-fucking him and actually listen to what he says for once. He actually said "I self-learned that myself, basically" while rolling a joint. He's worse than your unskilled magician ex that accidentally cut off three of his own fingers
Fuck I think I want to but I don't think I should. Caught between should and wanting.
just follow your vagina
Quote of the day.
Can you confirm that you aren't dead?
Randomize
