My Nuvaring birth control makes me queef.
How do you wash franks red hot sauce, whip cream, grapejuice and shame out of silk?
I would just throw it away. You cant just wash out shame, it has to soak for like a month.
I woke up at 1pm, looked in the mirror and fist pumped...I might still be drunk
For Halloween this year I'm gonna go as Angelina from Jersey Shore. I'm gonna yell "umm HELLO?!," cockblock someone, then leave the party early
He changed his profile picture to him as a baby. Definitely a turn off. This will help in my "don't-be-a-slut-endeavors"
I have a very important question for you: what are some good rules to have if we want to turn the nfl draft into a drinking game?
I guess I've just seen a lot of penises since then
I DONT UNDERSTAND NIPPLES. THEY JUST POP OUT FOR NO REASON
Well somebody's had a rough day, nipple-wise
Don't patronize me, I thought of that on peyote, so it was basically like a message from God.
You threw up in a empty pizza box at Pizza Hut and opened the door with your face. So that maybe why it's bruised.
im watching blue is the warmest color at the music box and this dude is literally masturbating 3 feet in front of me
I woke up and sent him a text that said 'I'm sorry forever'
Thank fucking Christ I was not wearing pants or eating chocolate cake last night.
He was really cute! And I know but it's just like getting my fix ya know? He's basically a human vibrator.
he said to "slap him" after he guessed the time correctly. i did.
Randomize
