Did you REALLY have to twitter about our sex last night?
guy at the corner shop gets out a bottle of tequilla and a pack of malboro light whenever he sees me through the door. makes me feel loved and cared for
there's no toilet paper. I'm using wheat bread.
Supposedly i was taking multiple birth control pills while screaming dot judge me. Never going back
The acoustics in my bra are fantastic.
I drink to make the karaoke go away.
its just been over 12 hours, and i`m dying, don`t know how i`m supposed to survive the holidays sexless
Got hit on by the cable guy. Solid 9. Think Orlando Bloom with a glorious curly mullet.
You're the second person to offer to fuck me in the bathroom at work. Idk whether I should feel honored, or if cvs is just a turn on.
Of course I'm using oj as a mixer, its flu season.
He slapped my ass... He best ask me out. Or figure out how to unslap my ass.
He put his burrito in the bag with his dildo.
The convent might be a nice break from real life
It wasn't until I lost my earring that I realized "I've been here before". Turns out we fucked a year ago. We've decided to make it a tradition.
I put the child locks on after I put you in the car and you then screamed, "I am a Phoenix, you can't restrain me. I NEED TO FLY!"
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