he said he didn't have a condom.
and you said?
that that's fine cause i was ready to be a mom. yeah - he magically had a condom he forgot about after that.
Facebook really needs to add a bikini picture profile tab for girls, it would really save me countless amounts of time!
We fucked twice, I went to the bathroom to freshen up, and came back to him playing "Your Body is A Wonderland" on his guitar naked in my bed.
Walking home still drunk in snow. Snowflakes are my only hydration..Need moreee
Hindsight: maybe I should have included a few transitional texts in between talking about your son and my need to have sex. Do over?
Getting blown during the Cavs game doesn't make it any less depressing.
She sent me a map and directions for a booty call. In a park. Give me reason not to marry her.
I petted my head, told my hair it felt beautiful and needed to be let free. Then pulled out my pony tail. Cheers to weed. I lose.
I can't remember dinner
Hahaha "rub in the ketchup on your face, It'll just look like blush." some gay waiter said that to you, and you go "good idea!"
After what I experienced at 6am this morning, all I can say is chew your noodles thoroughly.
Is it okay to send him a "thanks for the sexual awakening" note?
I got home at 1 am on a weeknight with lube in my hair. I'd say it was a successful first date.
I love you more than sex with randoms.... and we all know how much I love that shit.
We ended the night eating peanutbutter with our hands and smoking cigarettes in the house at 4am. Fucking Everclear, man.
I just deff did the walk of shame.. His roommate/manager woke us up. A dog scared me on my stumble to the car.
This is why I'm single.
Randomize
