If my nicknames are based on what I throw up, you can call me Jimmy Johns
she was puking into the toilet drowning herself saying "its okay im a swimmer"
jusi got death stares at taco bell because I asked if Denise was working.
Hooking up with one of the deadbeat dads from Teen Mom does not qualify as banging a celebrity.
i wish i coudl send you meat via computure
God you people are gross. Come collect your unconscious friend.
You cant carve pumpkins without vodka. It's a Halloween tradition.
You need to braveheart it on Monday. Blue face paint and a loin cloth screaming freedom in your front yard.
Side note. I love it when I think I've sobered up and then I get a second wind of drunk
Ever walked into a basement full of 10 guys jerking it to a live stripper? Cause I have. Always confirm the address of a house party. Always.
Hahahahaha. That's what your stoned ass gets for eating half a bag of processed cheese at 2am.
I just woke up in my locked bathroom. It's 5 PM. What happened?
I tried to suck your dick underwater and almost drowned
Emily saved me from being trapped on my roof and then I beat her in a race at 5am it was a low key night
I absolutely love waking up to see my phone search history is "xj" "qj" "cj" "uj" and "kj"
Randomize
