Text. Mid BJ. 8 points.
Omg. Never. Take a laxative the day you are going on. A date.
"Party in the USA" was played at church youth group last night. It was like everything I enjoy hating was aligning against me.
he was walking around the bar drinking wild turkey and gobbling simultaneously
A lesson I learned in the hospital....when you masturbate while attached to a heart monitor, it scares the nurses a lot.
Hooking up with one of the deadbeat dads from Teen Mom does not qualify as banging a celebrity.
i looked at my phone and realized all i had said to her the entire night was misspelled variations of "NOTHING IS THE SAME" over and over. she eventually stopped replying.
since when did our medecine drawer and our sex drawer become the same drawer? we now have lube covered cough drops.
Where the hell is he. I called him crying for weed and sex you would think that would signal some urgency.
No if my life depended on you fingering me just let me die
Saw 2 lesbians fist fighting outside the bar tonight. I was startled yet slightly turned on
I behisseth at your soul from the deepest darkest depths of the earth
Was it cause you feel bad for the ridiculousness my vagina goes through because same
He licked me while I ate pretzels and chips. I was really living my best life.
Only you would try street racing in a Volvo.
Randomize
