I'm so bummed I missed coconut bowling. It's fucking cold here and no coconuts to be found
Yeah true. Damn vaginas. They're ruining the world.
we'll penetrate his innocence with our dicks
I love watching others lives come down to our level.
Blow job bear ended up in my bed last night. She didn't live up to her costume.
last night he took my thong off with his teeth... god bless champagne
Did I mention I should never take 5 Xanax and drink?
I sort of figured that out when I found you sitting on the roof of your house saying we could get in through the skylight while I called the locksmith.
Dude I wanna go on a booze cruise
Dude our life is a booze cruise
But without boats...
You carried me up the stairs after I told you not to. And what did you tell me? "Let me test my strengths."
My sunday was babysitting three big, drunk, crying Swedes. Unless your day involved four or more giant drunk swedes I don't want to hear about it.
They live across the street from a school baseball field so they have porter potties across the street and let's just say that I'm grateful they exist
I cant go through life without knowing what ginger pubes actually look like
the man at taco bell in the drive thru window tried to sell me his mix tape
his single is called “stick some holes in it”
the next morning we realized we didnt speak the same language... guess i subconsciously did learn a little german last semester. thanks study abroad.
ah the experiences a semester in Vienna can give you. Frau would enjoy knowing that even while sleeping during class you still managed to learn enough german to get laid
he invited me over. we listened to jazz, smoked weed, then cerebrally fucked each other over a three hour game of chess
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