i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
so this carnie looked at me and said "the ride in my pants is funner." i wet myself.
the girl next to me in class is drawing a guy banging a chick doggy style...its very detailed
eating taco bell the same day as formal = probably a bad idea
did i by any chance text you anything about feathers last night?
you mean faeutihaers?
I'm making celebratory pizza rolls. They're a lot like regular pizza rolls, but without the taste of shame.
...i'd have to set their sheets on fire.
Sad Megan is Sad
Have you been drinking my beer?
he just kept repeating "those were some pretty nipple-y tits" over and over the rest of the night
dont know how to tell my grandparents I woke up in a frat house in the wrong town and that's why I can't see them today
I have the liquor shits and this time, it's personal.
I have alotted at least an hour for ugly crying.
Vodka Red Bull is like your spinach if you were Popeye
in the middle of telling this chick to sober up i was shotgunning beers. im gonna be ab awsome nurse.
I swear 2020 just keeps getting worse and worse
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