So I thought I was slick leaving his room this morning all incognito. Little did I know I was wearing his football jersey with his name across the back... stilettos & my bra was left behind. never seeing that again
we screwed to my bar mtzvah tape, I became a man while watching myself becom a man
I just made a 90's Nickelodeon TV theme song power hour mix...I don't want to build it up but your head might explode
i was mowing the lawn and found the coffee pot in the bushes
He just slept in my bed for a couple hours and asked lots of questions about gay sex. No, I do not have his number.
Because when I say 'You shouldn't drink anymore', she hears, 'I personally challenge you to chug 3 more mixed drinks'
Gosh I haven't been pantsless in front of anyone for a while. It's time for me to pick up my game. We need a party. I need some rum.
despite the cops showing up at 8am, pre gaming groundhog day was my idea yet. and by pre gaming, i of course mean getting black out drunk by 7:30am
Who ever is in the stall next to me is crying and it sounds like they're doing massive amounts of blow too. Finals for your ass huh.
My boyfriend just asked what time I was coming over. As soon as my old BF unchains me. I think he ran away.
My parents heard us going at it in their tent. I told my mom it must have been a bear looking for food. I don't think she bought it. She deliberately chose this park because bears haven't been sighted here in years.
HIS NAME IN MY PHONE IS JOSHUA DREAMCHASER I CAN NOT
NO SHAME NOVEMBER
When he breaks your heart after he reveals he's gay, I'll be there for you. -Love, Dad
my birth father cheated on his wife with my birth mother. it's literally in my blood to be a home wrecker.
I just came in my own mouth don't ask me how cuz it really hurt and felt good at the same time.
Randomize
