So I'm eating my sandwich... and a penny fell out of it.
oh god was she eating orange peels again
We were in the shower and he sat down an wouldn't do anything. I'm so glad he manscapes. It made washing his balls less awkward.
Breakfast tacos?
YOU ARE A FOUNTAIN OF GREAT IDEAS
You BETTER NOT STEAL MY MOTHERFUCKING SQUIRREL
On a toatally unrelated note, I see music in my hair
That's the kind of activity you can only get away with by wearing a lion codpiece
I know it's like I wanna bring somebody fun who I haven't drunkenly expressed my feelings for. Or hooked up with. It's a struggle.
Well the streak is over, I saw a penis today
Being drunk isn't an excuse for eating all of the bacon asshole
I'm going to become fluent in fucking Belgian boys
Fuck you guys, I'm trying to nurse my hangover and eat my chicken tenders in peace.
You threw up with such class too! Tiara and all.
WHY DID I MAKE A 7 minute video of me eating crackers and cheese when I was high
Send it to me
He’s exactly what I’m looking for: he’s got a broken heart, a working penis and a new boat!!!
Randomize
