I haven't shaved so I have to behave myself. I'm going to do this from now on.
I'm pretty sure we got the cab driver deported
You are the worst substitute drug dealer ever
What are you doing? Did I punch you in the face last night?
Ok if you are accepting my apology, please continue to ignore me. If you are not, please fill out the brief survey that follows, to help me improve my people relations: a) your a bitch please leave me alone b)your crazy pls leave me alone c) I never cared ab u please leave me alone. D) all of the above e) all of the above but I wouldn't mind still fucking u. F) who are you again? Your answer will not b shared and will b used in accord. With the law. TY
Uuh, dude you came running out of the bar screaming you didn't want to hear that song, ran face first into a truck, spun around 3 times and hit the sidewalk. I tried to catch you.
I feel like I took a shit on my life and you're rubbing my nose in it.
Thats stupid. Your future is a life of less pay for the same work. Free drinks is how capitalism reimburses women for its inequality. & youre not even taking it!
I think I'm making a tradition of going to every funeral with at least one sex-related bruise. I don't know how this happened.
All I know is I got on a table at late night and sang gotta go my own way
I just fell and sprained my ankle in the shower. No, I wasn't having sex. I was doing the time warp. Again.
He was simultaneously rubbing my shoulders and fucking me. I'm keeping him.
You were supposed to catch herpes, not feelings!!!
On a scale of 1 to i should hide, how deep did i dig my grave?
We were talking about kinky shit, and I suggested a hand job in church.
How'd that go over?
Praise the lord and pass the lotion.
Randomize
