Yeah, but thats the third time she's peed on me.
you sent me 45 texts saying "meow?"
did i?
i just want his dick, seriously i'm about to take trifiling lessons. we'll call my alter-ego blair and she will screw his brains out, girlfriend or not.
last night some bitch put bruce along with his entire fishbowl in her purse and tried to leave. how drunk do you have to be to steal someone's pet??
she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
Cumbucket.....OH MY GOD THAT COMES UP AUTOMATICALLY NOW!!
That adds atleast one bjs worth of awkward sexual tension between us.
It was literally the size of a half eaten tic tac.
Driving by his house every hour is not stalking, it's a reconnaissance mission... How else can I confront him
I was talking about you wanting my dick, but that works too
I'm a drunk white girl and my ancestors were drunk white girls, if we apologized our species would be extinct.
what better way to celebrate the birth of jesus christ than to get embarrassingly intoxicated and make poor decisions!?
He gave me an extra phone charger for the other side of the bed the other night. Is that love?
my goal is to never have a bac of 0.0 the whole time while in the state of florida, which means i have to chug a beer before i cross the state line
My plan to hit on all your friends went to shit after the 3rd dirty martini.
Randomize
