hide the guitars, Nate just learned to play free fallin'
By the way, shout wipes are a gift from god for people that throw up on themselves.
So my graduate coordinator is possible gay man. I may have just found the easiest way to a degree ever.
Good plan b, put your number on all your forms. Hello gamefull employment.
Take that integrity
the liquor store lady asked about three times if I was sure about buying two fifths of everclear. i told her I wanted to be on cops
Dont have access to internet. masturbating to shake weight commercial.
I love you. Happy valentines. Satin Patricks dayyyyyyyyyy. Alreadythrew up. Geeeeerait.
Let me tell you the story of bicurious george
At least you get to smell pizza at your job. I just smell despair all day long.
You would only karaoke to Spanish songs, but sang with the accent of the french candle stick in beauty and the beast.
I know you just got dumped by your gf but believe there is still good in the world. I just smoked a joint and took a fucking unbelievable poop. Give me a call tomorrow.
We're gonna start a pole dancing competition or a bar fight. Stand by for results.
I passed out drunk in her bed. Her boyfriend showed up and told me to go to the other room or we were gonna have a threesome. I threw up off the side of her bed and left. I feel like that was an adequate response.
My potted cactus died. I am literally less nurturing than the desert.
I begin to question your sobriety when you both left here shirtless, with beers in one hand and shotguns in the other
I don’t know how to sext. What do you say? What do you don’t say?
Just start quoting WAP lyrics.
Randomize
