I never noticed this but I have a beauty mark on my labia minora
Please tell me how you discovered this.
I was looking in the mirror snooping around
Is making out on a toilet while he is sitting down and pissing weird? cause that's what happened last night
i wish exes would disappear into a world where we never have to deal with them again, and they can just create drama for each other. Then if they wanted to talk to us, they would have to apply to get a "visa" to come back to our world.
So how gross is it that Woopie Goldberg has a vagina? She's like the exact opposite of a boner....
My cleaning lady just walked in the kitchen and i had a hardcore boner. I dont know what awkward is anymore
im sober
you just pulled your sweatpants out of your bag and thanked them for being alive
Instead of politely asking me to shave, he passive-aggressively left me a groupon for a bikini wax. So I passive-aggresively fucked his roommate. And his roommate didn't mind my bush when he went down on me. Anyway, do you want the groupon or not?
My mom just called me to tell me that i dont have chlamydia. Awkward.
College: when you have to set an alarm to start drinking
Drinking heavily at 3pm and about to rescue a 30lb street turtle. Dont even bother attempting to rise to this level bitch
Just realized I chose a bacon cheeseburger over sex last night
On another note I never thought having a drug addicted stalker would prove useful
You told me that you would let her eat cake off of your ass, then fell asleep on the floor
How drunk were you? in an effort to seduce him, you demonstrated your lap dance skillz on his dog.
This pandemic, it’s making everyone horny. I’ve got dick stashed all over town
Randomize
