and then I told him he looked like the Gordon's Fisherman dude. I don't think he thought it was funny, because he 'forgot' to pay for my beer.
I don't think cute and don't forget to get tested belong in the same text
you wouldnt answer to anything but devil's advocate all night.
no. i just ate a whole thing of hot dogs. me and regret are sleepng alone tonigh.
I just got a Community College debit card in the mail. My failure has been materialized.
well, duh, but it's like you don't even want to see me masturbate with a wine bottle.
when you wake up try not to move. we are betting to see if more sprinkles stuck to you or the pong table.
If youre wondering about the smell, i set your hamster on fire. But don't worry he's ok
4 girls from the bar, me, strip basketball. here. NOW
If I had your job the next day id be on the news. And not the good news. Like fox & friends. Nancy grace would have my ass.
quickly learned not to sleep with your roommate and work colleague in the same week
I can't wait to get to LA so I can punch her in the face
we went book shopping, so yes this relationship is going to be about more than sex
Yelled "don't taze me bro" as the police officer tazed me. Cross it off the list.
no no no no you can't just say your dirtiest secret is "i sat on goldfish by accident once" and just leave i have QUESTIONS
AT LEAST TELL ME IF THE GOLDFISH WAS STILL IN A BOWL??????????????
Randomize
