if you like me you must not know who I am
I just beat off to a cartoon porn video. what has my life come to
i stopped calling them hangovers and started calling mornings a long time ago.
at least franzia made me throw up pretty colors.
Even though he is humpbacked he is really good in bed.
On an unrelated note: I'm also a big advocate of the "never waste a boner" theory.
...And then you kept screaming "cock mouth" in her face every time she tried to talk.
I can never have sex in Utah again. The altitude had me breathing like a fat kid going up stairs.
We had sex while watching the republican debate. I'm not sure how he maintained an erection watching Donald Trump speak.
He seemed genuinely disappointed when I told him I wasn't going to make out with him to Bring Me To Life by Evanescence so I feel like I've pinpointed the breaking point of this relationship
I met my future wife last night. She's a bombshell from Delaware, hates Trump, and humiliated two old men in a GOP healthcare debate while simultaneously convincing them to pick up both of our bar tabs.
This is a friendly reminder to try not to shit on the toilet seat. If our 4 year old can manage it, I think you can too.
I came so hard my entire leg seized. Her blowjob gave me a Charlie horse.
Dude I woke up with a handprint shaped bruise on my ass, a pong ball in my cleavage, and somebody else's gold chain around my neck. Who's house am I in?
I just saw a guy faceplant off a unicycle while holding a saxophone, while his buddy riding another unicycle and sporting a flute rode by laughing
Only at UConn...
Randomize
