Learn some fucking English or leave me alone! "Your" is for something that belongs to you, like 'your herpes'. And "you're" is a contraction for "you are", like "you're not sleeping with me".
Just saw a guy wearing pink jeans and i bet he's straight. Fuck 2009.
he keeps his weed in a birkenstock shoe box. its like, we get it, youre from oregon.
i am already firmly committed to doing irish carbombs w/ 12 different people, and the st pattys day party doesnt start for another 24 hours. i may die
Well i have to fuck at least one of your roommates this year to keep the tradition alive.
I talked a bachelorette party out of a 4 person bucket of long islands, and drank it by myself. Please call me a taxi. The fat brides maid just grabbed my cock
You remember the guy that busted in waving a tazer at everyone yelling "get the fuck outta my crib"?
yeah you don't forget that shit easily
We ended up crawling out from our hiding spot and playing pool with him once he calmed down. His name is Marcus. I got his email.
The liquor stores are closed! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! CURSE YOU SANDY!!!!
You're dating a nurse! That's smart, you never know when you'll have a medical emergency. Probably liver failure.
My girlfriend is pregnant with her exs baby. 2014 just became the worst year
Did you take the full box of samoas or do I not remember getting baked and eating half a box by myself?
I vaguely remember making out with some dude. Please tell me he had all of his teeth.
but I'm still not sure how you became more and more fluent in Spanish the drunker you got
I think when your throwing up on the highway on the way to pick up your mom from the airport is a sign to slow down.
Omg. I definitely just got hit on by my doctor AFTER he completed my pap smear which clearly showed I was in the middle of an outbreak. What. The. Fuck.
Randomize
