I peed while puking? Even better
Yes you most deff did. Ultimate multi tasker you are
today i did the best job ever shaving. like my vagina is PERFECT. plus i straightened my hair for a good hour. if i don't get ass tonight, i'm killing a baby.
If I start taking birth control 8 days after we had sex do you think it'll stop the baby from being made?
all i remember of last night is that i was drinking jameson and then NOTHING i do remember walking a dog though\nwhich is sooo fucking weird
OH MY GOD ITS COMING BACK I PUT THE DOG IN THE HOTTUB TOO
no im not bringing booze its easy, you just challenge a drunk guy to beer pong, he'll hand you two beers, you lose on purpose, and everyone makes fun of you. but we laugh in the end for bringing nothing to a byob
Our fuck buddy relationship took a turn for the worst after we were drunk and I punched him in the face when he asked for a three some with my best friend.
Me too. We could do it like prostitutes. No kissing on the mouth.
The last time I thought I had a UTI, I ended up having herpes. Sooo.. This time in preparing myself for cancer or death.
Once I hang curtains in my truck bed that'll be feasible
I swear, the cow we tried to tip tried to eat me. and all I could think was, oh how the tables have turned. worst trip ever
I feel as if I need Plan B just being in the same room as them for more than 5 minutes.
I was trying to remember why my knees hurt then I remembered I was twerking on the countertops.
Dude just walked up to me, gave me his number and said, if this number ever calls its my penis,better keep that one handy. I cant lie its the best pick up line ever, im calling his penis.
I just described cereal to my mother as "acoustic breakfast soup".
who is this
It’s the universal cock block of this decade
FUCK THE COCKBLOCK 19
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