I can tuck mytits in my pants
so high driving around just saw a woman in a pink shirt chillin riding a horse
so high at work that a 35 year old with his kids handed me visine and winked at me. you win with the horse though
I wish the holidays was like a drive thru. Get in. Get your presents. Get out.
I thought pig tail meant you were suppose to grab on to it when getting BJ
We've made a drinking game out of how many times the tornado sirens go off. We're good at tornado safety.
I was desperate so I downed my birth control with balsamic vinaigrette...
Why did I wake up holding food tongs?
This wedding is gonna be a disaster. I already had to turn down one of the groomsmen who offered me $100 to sleep with him next wknd.
Too low?
Yes.
I have a big to do list for you. Number 1 - me. Number 2 - drink wine 3. Talk my ears off. 4. Me again
You had a hat of bras. Probably a good dozen, which is totally impressive for a Thirsty Thursday
I think I have to break up with him. I just cried, not moaned, screamed, etc, cried, with tears of sadness and disappointment when I came.
I got hella high today and freaked out about life and interest rates
I lick assholes and I wouldn't eat mdma
Fast is cars. Home is I now. Drunk yoda me is.
It was beautiful and filled the audience with hope for the future. :3 I wish I could speak more but sleep werk nighty
I asked how you were doing?
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