someone is gonna have my baby tonight. they just dont know it yet
I'll alert the authorities
how much land on farmville do you have now? i sold all my shit to make room i need more money... these animals need to know I'm running a business not a charity.
My history teacher just took his shirt off cuz the classroom was to hot. And then he invited us all to join him.
Ohh god. I'm so nervous. This is terrible. He just introduced me as "the best girlfriend of his life" and Jenny as his "sexual roomate"
Can you pinpoint the moment you decided it was acceptable to trade blow jobs for beers or was it a gradual slide?
You threw up with your ski mask on still.
How do you think the people in my class would react if I ripped all my clothes off and jumped on him right now?
Only you could walk of shame to a childrens pirate themed birthday party
Convincing a cop that you have diplomatic immunity is way harder in Dallas than in Serbia. And you get fined for attempted bribery.
my poor anus
I know this is super early in advance but can I borrow your horse mask on 4/20
You threw a handful of caps into a pitcher of Heineken and asked everyone if they wanted to go "bobbing for molly"
I didn't realize how much I relied on you for a reason to drink on tuesday
Would you be opposed to me keeping a live lobster in the shower for a bit?
Its like he got lessons from Jesus on how to use his tongue. And his dick.
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