I changed my tire completely alone.. I could totally win survivor
Its my greatest physical accomplishment
Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
i dont think there is any level of not caring that i havent covered in the last month
Girls don't like it when you cum inside them and then discuss baby names.
I gambled and lost. Had to pull into a funeral home to clean up with a copy of my resume.
I just watched 2 blind guys walk into each other head on in providence. It pays to pregame in your car.
is it bad that upon arriving to my fourth sex toy party the sex toy lady instantly recognizes me?
Sorry I never got back to you, I ended up at a party with pot ice cream, pot apple cider, and hash vegetable oil.
TO ALL WHO WERE IN MY HOUSE LAST NIGHT: WHOEVER STOLE MY BONG AND PUT IT ON THE ROOF WILL BE PAYING MY HOSPITAL BILL FROM LAST NIGHT.. AND BUYING ME A NEW, SWEETER BONG.
Oh my god what did I do. My hands are scraped, there are pickles on the floor, my clothes are wet, and I don't remember how I get here. Thank you.
Today I'm playing this game called how physically long can I Lay in this one spot before moving, do you have an estimated time of departure?
Is it against health code to come into work half drunk and commando?
This really high kid past out in the corner of the room holding a box of cheez its in his arm. My idol.
I shaved my entire vagina for a man who had the personality of a potato and a C- orgasm. Life is a series of disappointments.
i'm not sure what you are doing right now, but i know that i don't like it. whatever you are doing. just stop. come here so we can fuck
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