a/c is broke at work...just took my panties off at my desk and the janitor saw it...might have a date for later. let you know
She came to work with 6 additional layers of make-up, playing every Nickelback song about explicit teen sex, and with a dozen twinkies she bet she could finish without chewing any. I'm investing in a rape whistle.
dudes here are drinking wine, and not in the forgivable 'just doing this to get laid' way
he needs a life. he was like frothing at the mouth to cockblock you
I was in the freezer we were knocking over shit. Speaking of which i asked my boss. I can hook up with girls in the freezer
Yeah just sayin. Whenever you want to come over and wank me off you can
I'm sorry I make you whore yourself out to him everytime I'm drunk and want mcdonalds.
We were on the ground in Tampa for 55 hours and we drank for 30 of them.
We won Spring Training 2013.
Happy cinco de mayo!! Puke filled sombrero in the lawn needs to be picked up and whos never punched my fence boards in half needs to replace those by the way the owner of those panties (see attached photo) anytime you wanna cum over;-) hiii!
We also had rum, but now that's all gone. Which I feel is appropriate for a pirate party.
you kept saying how you wanted to mainline bacardi right into your bloodstream. medical school is doing wonderful things to your brain
I swear to go if the response she sends me something along the lines of who the fuck is Mark Hamill I might need to brake up with her.
Goodnight Shia. Goodnight Moon.
it'll be like the notebook except for with way more of my penis
Sorry I've been a slutty nightmare this week
You would be successful and sober without me. you can't turn your bakon me now
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