I think im in love with that girl with the googlie eyes last night. She was looking in my eyes and at my dick at the same time. we are going out again tonight.
I woke up naked, with 10 visible bite marks and a black eye. I'm just going to assume that it was a good night.
Yeah like at least with a penis what you see is what you get with a vagina there can always be a surprise inside
He told me he was in a Proactive commercial. It didn't seem to work for him but he was buying me shots so I slept with him anyways.
not sure if I should be concerned that my brother just stormed into my room and looked at me with a serious face and said, "I'm a peacock, you have to let me fly." oh, vicodin...
it wasnt even considered partying. it was like "ok, who can get the most shitfaced and not pass out"
It was a taxi full of fist pumps and chanting to "face down, ass up". It was that 1% that makes my job worth it.
My drug dealer just made me weigh out my own weed because he was in the middle of taking his law enforcement final
My night was too much. My morning is even more. Help. I need to teleport the fuck out of here.
I can already tell, the amount of fun I'm having right now is not nearly going to compensate for the amount of "let us never speak of this again" I'm gonna have tomorrow
This is why we can never be together. Well that and we r married to other ppl but that's very minor detail compared to the coffee issue
She kissed me, then said "mmm your face tastes like it needs my pussy on it."
He finger blasted me like an angel dude
I told him I was studying his body for art, so now I have to actually do a drawing of him to not look like a creep and so we can hook up again.
It’s like my vagina just knows when a man is a barrel-chested freedom fighter.
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