ok so the lil girl sitting behind u was picking the hairs off ur sisters back and putting them in her mouth
I'm so high that a hulu ad convinced me to go on healthybaby.com
I found out why we traded puke covered dresses in the bathroom.
I take back everything I said about communal showers
so the girl i've been sleeping with for 3 weeks now just figured out that i don't know her name
Nothing kills the mood when I am hooking up on the dance floor like the DJ saying Happy Valentines.
He blacked out at the first bar and passed out at the second...we just carried him to bar three and four and sat him in the lounge chairs, he said we're amazing
Dude I woke up and he was pissing in the corner on his clothes... I called his name an he replied " I got this" and continued.
Fine line between drunken accidental sleepover with your best friend's lab partner and gay sexathon. I did a cartwheel over that line. A CARTWHEEL THAT LANDED IN HIS LAP
Currently on my Sunday walk of shame. Should I go to church?
Was so high at one point last night that while showering I was worried that using too much hot water would slow down our Internet.
I don't know what's wrong with me. The guy from bar rescue is making me horny
You know you're an adult when you start planning your hookup a week in advance
Best part though was when he wanted to cuddle and I was like, I'm going to go.
No one can touch me, I'm made of fruit.
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