i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
great sex! but now the fight over who sleeps on the wet spot starts.
This situation is one cop call away from being a Lifetime movie.
know what the best part about malls are? standing on the upper level and boob gazing
I got to the point where it seemed like she had 8 giant breasts instead of just two
mom came into my room and asked to borrow some condoms. We have gotten to the point where it's not awkward anymore.
They have chocolate covered tequila candy at work. This is not a drill. May be drunk by noon.
I vaguely remember seeing that couple making out in front of that store and i yelled "I ALSO LOVE THE ROCKY MOUNTAIN SOAP COMPANY!"
I just referred to our excessive fireball consumption as a team building exercise and everyone in group text agreed.
We're not alcoholics, we're a god damn team.
So do I get to ride the beginning of the November stache or what?
Checking out a dudes' nachos instead of the dude #foreveralone
have no fear, swaggie olivia is here to bring glorious gifts and horse dick to children
my hair smells like a mixture of fireworks and rotten eggs with a hint of shame. it's so strong it's keeping me awake.
Instead of texting me to come over, she just sends me a batman symbol.
I don't care if she's a booty call. Marry her.
If you wake up, and some of your hair is singed off, it probably has something to do with the lit cigarette you put in your hair. You said it could double as a bobby pin...?
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