Did I tell you he has dinosaur sheets?
yo im tryna cop a beej tonight
Now i know why people get high. I sat in the same chair for about 3 hours and the only thing i worried about was how far away my chinese food was.
I'm about to enter vancouver's biggest liquor store. I feel like I should sent you a "wish you were here" postcard.
Thank god i puked near the cancer center. makes me look like a chemo patient
Can you do me a favor and fuck someone with a car so I can get a ride home?
Im embracing the luau theme and maybe bringing a kiddie pool filled with alcohol. Im also embracing the high probability I will not remember this night.
I wonder what blackout Alex would think of her?
probably "functioning vagina, must touch"
We watched game of thrones, broke up and I drove away blasting ridin solo while he dougied
Can I borrow your google glasses to make a sex tape?
So, my love of dick may have landed me in a cult. On the bright side, I now have a discount at Spencer's.
I've been really sick the past 4 days. Last night, I actually turned down a bj. I may be dying.
I don't think tits should taste like fish.
Went to open youtube this morning, and the last search was "ten hours of whale sounds" Best pillow talk ever!
While all of the skanky girls from the crowd got on stage we screamed fair game and scoped out all their boyfriends, she made out with 2, this is what we call taking advantage of the situation
Randomize
