just graduated on the spot on the quad where I vommed freshman year. full circle
Either he masturbated at the end of the bed or she gave him a bj. Either way my bed was shaking and I was uninvolved.
God, i just love slightly insecure guys with hearts of gold and giant penises.
it took me 7 solid minutes to realize "egggGSaucetingf" meant "exhausting"
IM A SHIT SUOW THE GUYS AT THE PMACR TOLD ME AJDBO I WEBF RO WALNARY WITH OU SHOES! I WASHT LLOWES FLOWERSA
as i sobered up i realized that her cute accent was actually a speech impediment
ever had one of those days where you say fuck it and lick the inside of a bag of chips
I hate vagina strikes, but I must not stray from my path. My boyfriend will know the true meaning of blue balls.
he told me to take care of him and then he asked me to walk him to his hotel. I already have a pussy. I don't need another one
I'm alittle affraid you might be dead, seeing how your work party is in an hour and you haven't answered me? I mean I'm picturing you 1. Passed out in your car covered in fries or 2. On a boat in a box to Mexico covered in coke. Please let it be number 1. And aren't we going to your work party?
Why is your ex naked in my apartment?
Would it be weird if I bought knee pads and shin guards to fuck in my car?
Turns out he's actually a she. Might keep dating her just to see Mom's reaction.
GOD DAMN IT I COULD HAVE HAD A MOTHERFUCKING 3 WAY LAST NIGHT. WHY BOOZE, WHY?!
Once again I let my vagina make the decisions...that and vodka :(
Randomize
