i don't like sucking hair
last week i woke up at this guys house...this week i woke up at his ex girlfriends
Currently bar hopping with 30 Navy SEALS. I know i'm safe but damn its hard to pick up chicks when you feel like a big pussy.
I can hear the condescending tone from the atm when it asks if $3 is all I would like to deposit
after she pushed someone down the stairs to get more vodka we lost her for a while and found her on the pole in the garage pouring water on herself
hot buttered vodka was not a success. on any level.
library dates and plan B? He is looking like a great catch.
Using a 12 year old as a wingman. Does that make me a bad person?
ur mom makes the best bacon
WHAT ARE YOU DOING IN MY HOUSE
Whoa, I am aware of WAY too many squirrels right now...
I picked up a chick last night on crutches wearing a I am boobman tshirt. I love raves.
after what u told me last night I think we're past the wtf zone and at this point u should just join me in wondering if my barista lover is a gay porn star
Dude, fate has brought her to your penis.
You know tonight's gonna be a good night when your already planning on sleeping in a trunk
Apparently I gave a guy a hand job on the dance floor. ON THE DANCE FLOOR.
Randomize
