I need a sticker that says "It's no use hitting on me - I'm the plus one" Seriously, how do they think I got in in the 1st place?
Don't know whats worst me sharding on her a bit or her believing me when i told her she did it...
he pushed my hair back because he said it made me look like kelly kapowski and he told me to call him zach
We just found a handle of vodka in our fridge and no one knows how it got there. God I love spring break.
Dude you need to stop whoring out my boobs. They are for emergencies only.
i cant cry in cvs. not again.
Just don't have "pin the tail on the straight edge" as a party game... Please and thanks...
She passed out in the backyard, making "face down" snow angels ... so they could have a smile.
I want to break his glasses with my pelvis.
we have what I like to call an assload of ramen noodles
Your choices in alcohol this weekend are thoroughly disappointing
Things he's good at: oral sex and geometry. Things he's not good at: actual sex.
Sorry this is the worst night of your life and that you're being a baby about it.
He got me off while watching hockey. He's a keeper.
Did u find my other sock in your bra? U said u were uneven so I did the gentlemanly thing.
Randomize
