WTF I just almost got ran over by a fucking cop!!!!!!
LOL you shoulda thrown yourself in front for money. Fucking cops!
i have a bunch of little boys around me trying to hit on me
dont be selfish, show some boob
I'm listening to bach and watching porn,is that a sign of depression?
Quite the contrary. Sophistication.
You guys need to get along, there is no need for a pissing contest...We're all fucking each others ex's.
Just called the bar: "hi this is the girl who you kicked out for excessive bleeding, do you happen to have my coat?"
she's crying and begging for her chapstick and insisting on walking home...her every thursday ritual
Two words. Shotgunning Cognac.
This has already gotten way out of hand
You can do it. What doesn't kill us just drives us to drink
dude when I get home wanna help me fulfill my dream of smoking a bowl out of my saxophone?
Also I've come to learn that "type" and "fetish" are different things. Apologies for earlier confusion.
I just need to drink whiskey get off and eat some cheese. Why is that so fucking hard for god to deliver.
Seriously bro? Indoor roman candle wars? I guess I'll never see that fucking security deposit again
It's beautiful and huge. Like a dinosaur.
Just found out that the guy I lost my virginity to voted for Gary Johnson. It's almost more upsetting then him ending up being a massive asshole.
Stop letting me drink while doing my makeup. I think I used sharpie for eyeliner.
Randomize
