Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
I hope I'm pregnant just to spite you.
Could you imagine if a Skynet machine combination of Bob Ross and Chuck Norris were built? It would rule the universe with a soft spoken fan brush of kung fu dominance
It would be truly incredible. I hope we are blessed with this being in our lifetime.
My mom wanted me and my brother to have some bonding time before I left for school. Our bonding time consisted of us smokin a few bowls then goin to Red Robin to cure the munchies. Ooo how I love family time :)
I just ate a cashew that looked EXACTLY like your dick.
Lame. Party is tapping out at 4am. Even chanting "USA" didn't rally them.
They usually take it with their boobs. It's like a horizontal motorboat
Love is....waiting for your girl to throw up her shot in the bathroom...then handing her her beer. Game face.
he's dressing as a chick for halloween. of course i'm gonna make him get his legs professionally waxed. how is this even a question?
WHY DO I KEEP FINDING CHICKEN THROUGHOUT THE HOUSE? GET YOUR ASS HOME NOW!
If she gets mad at me, that only means more free time for me. I like to put myself I win win situations. Despite being in a relationship, I still find ways to accomplish my goals.
I'll give you a blowjob in a Santa hat if it will put you in the Christmas spirit
He just got home after serving 5 years in prison. And I think I may courtesy fuck him. Best Christmas present ever.
There's wine in the fridge here. You could leave school and we could get day drunk.
That's my favorite drunk.
they are cutting me off...little do they know I am making a 75 yr old man i named Herbert buy me drinks now...no shame at 11 am...
Randomize
