Plan A DEFINITELY worked... Go with me to get Plan B??
i may or may not be hanging out with a boxer who has a daughter tonight. and he just spelled "honestly" like "onistly". He has prob taken a few too many hits to the head but he's hot at least.
well, it ended with me crying outside the strip club saying i don't want to be 21 anymoree. i'd say it was a great 21st birthday.
there are casual beer cans in all of the public trashes, i belong here
We're in the kiddy pool eating marshmellows and drinking wine out of a box. Please dress casual.
Just copped mushrooms from a dude in a business suit. U comin or what?
Dude if her licking my face hammered isn't love I don't really want to know what love is.
Thats Poetry
Biggg time. I found 2 empty packages of extenze in my car this am.... not sure what that was all about
Homophobes nationwide are huddled in their bunkers tonight and I can't stop giggling. Could be the wine.
I just did the math technically I'll be drunk until 2:30-3:00pm
You owe me a one night stand and a line. Possible an inflatable flamingo as well. And a caesar salad.
Even my conscience is telling me to take this Wednesday's exam buzzed.
A real best friend would support the hoe in me. Not remind me of what happened the last time I slept with a boss
I saw his new girlfriend. She was flashing people, short and kinda chubby. I was happy with my life after that.
“before I show up tits a blazing, what’s the sexual temperature here?“
Randomize
