I seriously love my fucking boobs. They are so boobs.
I GOT MY PERIOD!
damn. i had names picked out.
When you come back do you think I could print anorexic pictures of Mary-Kate?
walked right past julianne moore (on her walk of shame this morning) god i love new york. :)
I just got asked if I have a rule for sleeping with people. Like they have to buy me dinner first etc...
On that note, do I have a rule?
I will never get the visual of you crying while chewing christmas lights out of my head
hey, this is the drunk ass freshman from last night. thanks alot for helping me out last night, i'd probably be on some lawn if it wasn't for you guys! and my mom says thanks for talking to her
Um of course I blew him. He brought me a shamrock shake. It was two o’clock in the morning on St. Patrick’s Day. There was no smoother move basically. He totally earned that head.
Ive seen his manscaping faults. Given the choice I'd rather dry hump a cactus
I let my daddy issue flag fly free last night.
I'm going to miss hockey season. It was the best excuse to get drunk on a Tuesday night.
As yoda would say; A bitch, she is.
I imagine it like the scene in Sorceror's Stone, but instead of flying keys, it's flying dicks.
That is a dream.
I really wanted you to make me eggs this afternoon. I even wrote it on my hand to remind myself.
dad says come back and get the lawn mower out of the pool before mom gets home
Randomize
