How did I get so drunk? We had to fish that girl out of the Goodwill Donation Box.
i woke up this morning in my bathroom,naked, with my boxers around my face and puke and shit on the floor and wondering why i didn't have a toenail on my one big toe.
compared to you, a hobo is quite responsible.
can you pick me up an extra syllabus
i passed out in the shower again
Honestly, I don't care whether it was a guy or a girl. Best blowjob ever.
Out of beer. Salsa pong. Never again.
Don't worry. This time I'll get black out drunk so they'll just think it's an American thing.
We are winners. And by winners I mean home wrecking sluts
Isn't that what our 20s r for?? Testing the strength of other people's shitty relationships?
He was uncircumcised
It was like inception. A penis within a penis within a penis
I think drinking everclear was a better idea than taking a night class.
she was literally 3 feet away from the garbage can, said she couldn't make it, and then proceeded to vomit on the floor in front of everyone in the restaurant
We're shaving superhero symbols into our pubes. I call dibs on Batman.
Soggy bong water carpet is the worst kind of carpet.
Not sure if creeper guy is too drunk to talk or I'm too high to listen.
I shit you not. Dude complemented me for being meme savvy. You could drown a toddler in my panties right now.
He screamed, "Let there be light!" when he came
Randomize
