Where the fuck is Rob at, he hasnt answered his phone in like 2 weeks.
Dude Rob died 2 weeks ago wtf?
Holy shit r u serious? How?
Just kidding, but im pretty sure he boned your gf and doesnt want to talk to you.
come downstairs quick. our boyfriends are having a dance off in nothing but their underwear and shoes. and they have semis too.
She's got an ass you could write the declaration of independence on in one line. Takes up three bar stools.
Give me a heads up the next time you BBM me a voicenote of you cumming so I'll make sure not to play it while in the car with my parents. Miss you too.
don't blame me for your drunken lack of judgement
big words... still drunk. dont care. your fault.
so i finally decided to ask her out. she started mumbling, then she puked on me. i think i'll try again when she's sober
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
let's just say if he has a penis and he hypothetically needs to put it somewhere... i would take care of that for him.
Can I also remind you that we insisted on touching his mustache?
Well of course I remember it took up like 20 minutes of my night.
I just swallowed some ecstasy stuck in my nose from last night. Work should be interesting.
I'm eating a subway sandwich in the bathtub because I don't want to move. God bless boys from Brooklyn
if they didn't want us to do blow at uni, why would they make textbooks so smooth?
This is a crisis. I had a huge crush on him in seventh grade and now his girlfriend is due to have his child on my birthday. HIS CHILD CAN'T BE BORN ON MY BIRTHDAY.
at the hospital. Kevin drank straight from the river
I just found my phone after looking for it since yesterday afternoon it was in the fridge.
Randomize
