I accidentally threw away from slim jim and some lady saw me dig it out of the garbage. It was unopened but still, I look so homeless.
Freshman orientation day on campus. Dear diary, JACKPOT.
im shaking like a drug addict and i almost just shat my pants when i sneezed...no more patron for me
dude skip the party. it is a fucking post office here
what the hell does that mean?
nothing good but a whole lotta male and packages
In less than 3 minutes we had 3 security guards running after us
One of us will probably end up wearing nothing but glow/ neon body paint and a pair of water wings...
And I am in no way ashamed to say that it will most likely be me. I'm hoping for it actually.
Boys that pee in my bed don't get happy birthday wallposts on facebook
All I know is I want him to tie me up at least twice a week and I have an overwhelming urge to cook for him. Could this be love? I'm so confused....
I have to sanitize my nipples and its just to cold in here for it to be ok
I threw up through my nose tonight. Happy cinco de mayo
I was just thrown into the pool and now I'm surrounded by men... You would think this is the dream but I'm just confused
You got this. You survived the RA last semester (granted you almost got arrested but still.)
Need a Dr's note to excuse me from blowjobs for 3-6 weeks while my jaw heals..
He gave me an extra phone charger for the other side of the bed the other night. Is that love?
So technically I made out with my second cousin this weekend... But it's by marriage and I'm adopted, so it's ok.
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