Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
quit re-tweeting John McCain's tweets
how the hell did we fit 12 drunk lesbians in your car?! I felt like we were playing lesbian tetris last night.
i just stepped in cum. i hate you.
Thats what happens when you don't swallow.
Look, all I'm sayin is $2 boilermakers and an expense account are probably a bad mix…
The only comparison I have for the iPhone is that it's like youre constantly getting a blow job
went from writing my paper to watching obamas speech to crushing beers and singing springsteen in a crowd of 100 within 20 minutes. I love this country
that's why you don't digest questionable powders from girls wearing tutus at a dirty club
ughh I puked about 4 times on metro, no one seems to like the cool design I made on my shirt
thanks for the 52 voicemails of you and crystal reciting the pleg of allegance
we used the fire extinguisher you had been cuddling with to decorate the cop car while they were inside arresting everyone
I know this is really fun but I don't wanna glow anymore
He said i got a new job lets blow this money he bought 4 bottles at the club he is now crying after seeing the reciept
Her craziness is the sexiest thing about her.
I can't wait to read your obituary.
I have work in an hour and I'm having trouble with concepts such as 'staying upright' and 'staying conscious'. Tie me to your wrist next time we go out drinking,
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