Do you have a straightener and are extra lubricated condoms not the norm?
it's taking a lot of effort to be mature and not reply to her with like a video of bestiality porn
Jesus people on campus asked me what i do for joy. I said i love sinning especially pre-marital sex.
Well he paid for dinner, so I paid for the Plan B, but the parking ticket I got is totally his responsibility.
Wouldn't be the first time..I think there's a subliminal message constantly playing in my mind that says 'blackout', 'throwing up is fun' 'too sober'
What bar did i puke in last night
by bar you must mean bars and by in you must mean on
Tomorrow, you will get a text, and it will bE spelled right, that's me yo, certify ya soon
I'd say tonight was pretty successful. I rode an iron horse naked and sweet talked myself out of an MIC while wearing a bra filled with four loko.
Have a glass of wine with dinner they said. Your hydrocodone has worn off they said... NOPE
Because everytime she talks to you she goes in her room and plays Come Sail Away on repeat. Can't take this shit anymore Jake
He should know he can't successfully wrestle in pudding fully clothed. Amateur.
Watching a bear prancing around in a tiara is worth a loss of bar time.
Is this really the life I've chosen for myself?
Your first mistake was thinking that you could get through the day without drinking a single bottle of alcohol. Your second mistake was wearing shark boxers.
I slept on her porch...in her dads handcuffs
Randomize
