Shes cool when Im fuckin smashed.....Sober.....She suuuuuuuuuuucks
are you serious?? is your clit as sensitive as your emotions
i wish
Remember back in the day when getting fingered in the movie theater was the best thing ever?
They past out watching a re-run of the 1984 presidential debate on cspan
Being back home for the summer opens up so many opportunities to have sex without increasing my number
cum and cheesecake for breakfast...don't fucking tell me pride week isn't awesome
So... i mean if they do have cameras in his apartment buildings pool room atleast we gave them a little show.
it's just one of those nights where i don't care if anyone sees my vagina
A man in a black on black escalade pulled up next to me, and told me he was sent to pick me up by you.
His name is Tyreece. He will take you to the weed emporium, population me.
they set my background as his mugshot to remind me "having a big penis won't be a valid excuse in a court room."
You threw up in your own shoe then wore it home
I cried while dry heaving in the back of the car to the New York song with jay z in it. I was singing it inbetween gags.
The day I let him eat me out will be the day that Donald trump is an honest, kind, non-bigoted member of society
This hangover is too legit right now. I just sneezed and almost puked
I'm about to take plan-b with a glass of wine and ramen noodles. I cannot decide who will hurt more...my vagina, my kidneys or my pride.
Randomize