My bottle opener just broke off in the cork
They don't teach how to cope w these situations in boy scouts
Do you reaalllllly want to put "porn editor" on your resume?
Just found bacon bits in my pocket. Blackout buffet is the best.
It's never too late to be topless.
We lost Kevin again. Probably kidnapped by fattie 2 or butter-face 2 from last night. We need names and any information you can give us. Last scene with his shoe laces converted into a belt.
it was all good until he screamed "for fraaannnceee" on his last thrust
Okay. I am working on pulling a tooth out of my mouth. Call me.
Nick is about to bring home a woman who is 39, a mother, and, by all accounts, FUCKING HOMELESS. Will update as details become available.
apparently when a guy says "if there's anything missing in your life, I will provide" he's not expecting attractive lesbians to be the answer.
WHAT KIND OF GUY JACKS OFF TO A PICTURE OF A BUTT WHAT IS THIS THE 1980s
We kind of crashed their funeral party. Oops.
I've sold more douches working here than one man should sell in a lifetime
So this is my life now? Laying in bed texting about Hulk penis?
You know that text I sent you last night at 2? That was 5 minutes before I ran face first into a wall of not okay
Found your brother. He was passed out in the tub holding a bottle of Shatto milk wearing nothing but his tighty-whities.
Randomize
