we have officially lost it.
Having a conversation over beer pong about a threesome I participated in...it's only Wednesday
"Morning after" poops are always like, interesting.
You act like I'm friends with her or something. I only screw her boyfriend!
Oh yeah.
dipping my christmas cookies in kaluha. santa would be proud.
I'm afraid my bank account can't handle syllabus week.
Why is there a case of Coors Light with my address on it?
I just want a better ending for myself. Not walking around with one sock on and my bush hanging out.
She seriously pointed at the couch and asked me if she could "ride the talking giraffe". I'll never serve everclear again.
Cancun blessed me with a drinking problem
Sigh. I'll find the right guy one day.
Prince charming is right around the corner and will be freaky as shit!
Freshly fucked must agree with my hair cause I've gotten compliments on it this afternoon
He drove me to my therapist appointment because I was too drunk to drive. Total keeper.
I wasn't talking about him I meant his penis! Its not a pet
Oh. Well it should be. I like petting it.
so you might not believe this but he made a powerpoint. and gave you a 3.5/10.
Randomize
