I woke up and went to my kitchen naked and decided I wanted a fruit cup. Ate said fruit cup. Look over and notice my male neighbor is staring at me
He scored a 8.5/10 on that girls powerpoint. Of course I slept with him
The look I see on guys faces when they realize my nipples are pierced remind me of when my mom used to come home from the grocery store and surprise me with poptarts.
I just want uncharted vagina. Fresh and ripe.
Your list of "good ideas" thumbtacked to the lampshade last night consisted of nothing but "tampon-pen" with a note indicating that girls could then always have something to write with, even naked.
He taught me where the gears in a five speed are with his penis.
I was able to hide the fact that I had just shit in my pants, and then wupped her ass at FIFA
This isn't just a hangover. I can feel the blood moving through my veins, and it hurts.
Dude I just came exactly at the crescendo of the Catalina wine mixer duet from step brothers.. Advance to next level.
I almost died in that meeting. Nearly dried up and blew away in the pure powder form of boredom
I know that feel bro
I put ketchup in a girls hair last night. I need a sorry balloon
You are the only person I know who has a fierce hatred for a five year old. Not even five year olds in general, yours is very specific
I spent the entire night stroking his hair. He was cool with it. Never thought a ginger stoner would help me work through my social anxiety but here we are.
This love triangle bullshit is getting out of hand. It's now a love polygon and I want out
I just shaved my pubes into a heart shape. if that doesn't scream romantic idk what does
Randomize
