This girl is more easily done than said...
so Mike and I made a deal. we'd do anal if he would help me pick out carpet tomorrow.
What...you let him do that?
It wasnt that bad. the two minutes it took is nothing compared to the 10 hr day I have planned for him tomorrow
It's kind of sad that your greatest accomplishment today is that you stood up and didn't fall down.
Dude I think I vomited on the wireless internet box too...it isnt working.
weed salsa. i deserve a nobel prize
in my defence, i did try to get you to put your shirt back on, then you screamed at me to stop telling you what to do
Your drinking has interfered with your drinking. I bet you could get a scholarship to a rehab. Thats pro-level
I always enjoy the bewildered gaze as I buy chips, salsa and beer @ 0745.
Did strip banana grams actually happen last night
Idk tell her to wear something sluttty. I have that one skirt I got arrested in if she wants to borrow?
Dropping acid was like seeing the whole world as a blank canvas to imagine anything I wanted.
And apparently all you wanted was to watch the sun explode and me take 60,000 dicks to the face.
Some dude peed on tonys floor because drunkness
They offered him a bucket as he was peeing and he was like "Nah, I'm good"
Their children would look like the Michelin man and smell like chef Boyardee
So it's official the pockets of my work apron exist solely for the purpose of secretly flipping off asshole customers and not losing my job.
You literally brought me back to life and then fucked it out of me
Randomize
