with your own penis?
I hope you get used to having plenty of sperm because you're never gonna get any.
he has 3 profile pictures up and all of them are him riding jet skis
saw a man tazing a raccoon in the middle of the street last night... normal
I'm unshowered, and since I've seen this episode of say yes to the dress, I've decided to go to the store and get a frozen pizza at 10:20 am. I'm crushing life.
I just tried to text you by typing "whoa" into my contacts.
Dude, I need a lifestyle change. I'm to old to be making out with chicks in foam parties, letting older chicks get all excited because I let them put their hands up my shirt, and running around doing scavenger hunts with 18 yr old chicks.
Ran into him again last night, stole his glowstick and walked away. The glowstick mountain in my room keeps growing.
I'm smoking pot with a man in a pink suit, size 15 wide shoes who bought his bowl from a place called Chinese Bling Bling while I'm dressed as a unicorn drinking pumpkin beer
Did my married ex-boyfriend really tell me that he prays for me? Fucking Judas
Walgreens has pop rocks. Be prepared to get your dick sucked.
SORRY FOR THE CAPS. I DIDNT CHANGE IT IN TIME AND ITS TOO FAR TO GO BACK NOW. PS IM SUPER BAKED
No one needs to know about the barren wasteland that is my vag. Sometimes i visualize my cervix rocking back and forth wondering where everybody went.
I just pictured that. It's reading a book.
i have pictures frm only 4 hours ago that will fucking ruin you so i suggest yuo come get me.
Where are you?
dunno. ask mike. bring pain killers. and underwear. and my dignity.
You literally snort drugs up your nose and you’re questioning the brand of the multivitamin right now?
Randomize
