Would it be quicker to bike the freeway home?
we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
some girl had on jean underwear. i hate america.
My fucking roommate unpluged my alarm; I pissed on his clean clothes.
i don't want you to think of me as your TA
Is a wave an appropriate goodbye when your one night stand wakes up and walks out towards the door while you are looking through the garbage for the evidence of a condom?
Last thing i remember is pounding jager and puking in that nerds george foreman grill. Then i wake up this morning with some random tooth brush in my mouth
When's a good time to tell your boyfriend you've slept with his ex girlfriend?
So our trip to Disney World ended in the three of us stripping at a gay club in orlando.
I think i just shit in their garbage can, I'm ready for that ride u owe bro.
I need a drink and a shade of lipstick that will put the fear of God in a man's heart.
she paid $15 and a box of cheerios for their acid
I was trying to drink every time they said planned parenthood but my body isn't cut out for this.
After we had sex he went to the kitchen, came back with a bag of funyuns and ate them buck ass naked in his bedroom doorway. Had no idea how to react to that one.
Found someone cuddling with my Uggs this morning. Guess the hundred pillows laying next to him weren't good enough.
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