Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
fyi, take the long route to the library. the "can i be your baby daddy?" homeless man migrated back for winter
white trash bash was a total success...cops shut it down twice and her hair stayed in rollers all night..she never broke character
We have a drunken confused pantless man in our apt. Boots.
we went to get a refill in his room and ended up having sex and passing out. then he woke me up with sex and gave me a beer for breakfast. i never want this to end
I really thought you were going to tell me you were pregnant on facebook chat. FACEBOOK CHAT. I almost cried.
The less money I spend on drugs, the happier my mom will be.
And I just realized we will be at a strip club when the end of the world is supposed to happen. This is destiny
I wonder if the fact that I'm listening to the theme from lion king gives my neighbors the impression that im tripping faceeeee
Someone snapchat me a pic of you topless laying on the bar with Scotty pouring a bottle of tequila down your throat. IT'S NOT EVEN ELEVEN YET.
School starts next week
Cleaning my room at 2am, in just one corner I found six beers, half a pint of whiskey, my flask, 2 shotgun bullets, my crown and shimmer lotion.
Do you remember biting my ear and whispering quotes of Pride and Prejudice last night?
I need an office. I have big plans. I'm learning spanish this month.
I swear I have some evil slut demon in me when I'm blacked out
Don't we all.
my friends roomated asked me this morning if we went to mcdonalds last night and i had no idea...that is until i checked my purse and found half a mcdouble in it...
Randomize