she looked like the bat from fern gully.
he texted me telling him i gave him the clap. but i think he gave it to me and i gave it back to him
you didnt remember my name all night. you kept referring to me as "the blonde with the fat ass"
Right before he passed out, he said "Stuporman, coming in for a landing"
handjobs have no place on a baseball diamond
Going to.goingto.gtoing to DIE DIE DIEEEE......i feel like everyeone impotrant in my life like MLK is judging me.... saddd day
The used rubbers I threw behind her bed all semester must have landed on the baseboard heater. They went up in smoke when she turned on the heat last night.
if I die on the way please explain to my mother that I do not wear fishnets on a regular basis
Hey, this is Travis. I just so intelligently deduced that I am in a college dorm somewhere in western oregon. Probably WOU, based on the process of elimination.
What if our hands were octopus tentacles?
You're an idiot.
I got a message from the hook up gods today that it's time to move on. It came in the form of me being shoved in a closet naked and stuck in there for 30 min well he watched boy meets world with his brother.
im so hung over everytime my dog barks the sound vibration makes my whole body hurt
Why didn't you tell me I was calling her by her sisters name all night?
I wanna be like, dude, I peed your bed. Like you laid in my pee. And we're not dating. You can find another fuck buddy who I'm sure won't piss on you.
You tried to use him as a battering ram. I'm 99% certain that's why he left.
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