Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
i think i will get a tattoo on my butt that says "im not bluffin with my muffin", but i guess if i was serious, i would get it above my c-section scar
they have a walk of shame score keeper on their fridge. I marked my tally for him on my way out..
If after tonight I can still walk on my own, take me to another bar.
It's totally ok to sleep with him. The only place I have feelings for him is in my vagina.
All I know is that your reaction after this date with him was "I think I did cocaine" so I'm sold on this boy
Taking shots of gin by myself out of TMNT glasses and chasing with bites of chocolate cake. AMERICA.
I want to pinterest what I want to do with my pubes. Why isn't there a board for that?!
as i sobered up i realized that her cute accent was actually a speech impediment
And if I could both stabilize myself *and* pick things up with my penis... Well, I wouldn't be on the fire dept...
Pretty sure the guy I hooked up with Saturday gave me a buy one get one free coupon for chipotle. Who said nice guys don't exist?
You started pulling out condoms from your fanny pack and threw them at all the couples on the beach
I stole $10 from the guy I hooked up with last night.Not sure why but it was definitely more satisfying.
I miss you.
Yeah, I don't want to have sex.
You chipped your front tooth on the toilet bowl. Should I call your dentist?
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