And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
just woke up in the beanbag bin at walmart
i wish that i had sketchier friends so that it would be easier to get drugs
Trying to find something to do here is like trying to find a vegan resturant in alabama.
I know the vomits not mine cause its on my back.
Drunkenly found an error on my bar tab last night. THANK YOU ACCOUNTING.
I may have just googled Muppet Treasure Island drinking game
She cut off the top of a watermelon and is now eating it with a spoon. She's more than half done.
Listen to my proposal.... I feed you crackers while I fuck you ever so gently.
Do you know what the cost code is for strip clubs? I'm filling out my company expense report right now
Until they make a bed that bathes you in your sleep, I will not be satisfied.
New drink: empty coke can vodka water maple syrup. Get on my level
I either have a razor blade lodged in my throat or I've been drinking entirely too much Evan Williams.
Master Skywalker, there are too many of them. What am I going to do?
Hit on the one in the red shorts. The thirst is strong with this one.
The trash can in my living room is full of Popsicle sticks and my vibrator has taken up permanent residence on my coffee table. I'm not doing anything productive. Clearly.
Randomize
