You know you think of me naked too
Not since I found Jesus
Dude, we have the same penis size. Best friends for life.
I think dad's getting high again. His last google search was "awesome ping pong shit."
the pharmacist hit on me as i picked up my herpes medecine. i think we found a winner.
The difference between what I would do for a regular Klondike bar and an Oreo flavored Klondike bar is astounding
Did you not learn anything for "HERPES SCARE 2010".........
Is it possible to get a DUI in a wheelchair that's not yours?
He said he had a problem he needed to take care of before we got omelets and then showed me his erection.
please come home... she's showing me videos of spanish parrots and is telling me about her dead cousin...
Started with us just having a beer. Now Ivan lit a torch to walk to the store, Ben smashed a 26 in the parking lot, and they're throwing broken shot glasses. Fratio Friday is something.
I'm only bisexual one week out of the month. Nothing like ovulation hormones to make the genders of my hookups seem completely irrelevant.
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
In the event that Ian's ex wife asks you, tell her I'm sweet snd innocent. No reason.
I legitimately just had to leave work because I am too hungover. The front office ladies keep making fun of me.
Making friends with the guy who had alcohol-infused whipped cream was the best decision I made all night.
Randomize
