I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
he told me that if i wanted to smoke he could make a piece out of my shoe. were keeking this kid around
Legitimately semi-blackout across the table from the governor off a chardonnay i can't even pronounce.
did you by any chance leave me that 7 minute long voicemail of you running and constantly tripping into bushes?
Nypd just made jon and hayes chug their forties.
We were just at different life stages. He wanted to get married and have kids, I wanted to take MDMA and fuck my roommate.
Just saw a hooker eating a pastrami sandwich walking down beach blvd blowing kisses to traffic. My day = made
i think he spiked my sandwich with a viagra
I told the cop to try walking in heels and he'd understand why I was walking home without then on. He told me he only does that on Wednesdays.
I just wanted to let u know that I called the taco people and informed them what the fuck is up.
Just saw a government minister puke and rally.
I figured it out! The supermoon explains how I managed to have sex with 3 dudes in 3 nights without leaving the apartment.
Can you come unlock the door? I just peed myself on the porch.
I'm still waiting for God to smite you for impersonating a decent human being.
You walked into the frat house and screamed "whose down to fuck" i think they were more intimidated than anything
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