think what you will about my sexuality, just get the cigarettes
Is it awkward that I've slept with every guy in this room?
Only if they know about it too.
True Life: I puke at bars and try to catch it in my hand...then walk away like it didn't happen
His band may suck, but it's not like I'm sleeping with all of them.
pretty sure if my vagina had a mouth, it would have been smiling afterwards.
Make sure you have everything youll need until sunday. aka a green shirt and condoms.
what kind of one night stand wants to walk you home in the morning? whole diff kind of walk of shame.
I'm now drinking beer through a straw. By order of the bartender.
Just an FYI if we break up I'm going to sleep with your cousin or who ever my dealer is.
sooo the guy I beat last night in strip pong is the manager's husband at my new job...
Operation: 12 Dick pics of Christmas was a sweeping success, thanks for asking!
I know it's just really hard to give up sex and cigs during a blizzard
You told his date she had the tits to be a stripper and the personality to be the pole. Of course he's pissed off.
i feel like i shouldn't just had to send a text that said "no i will not eat your ass"
Ever get that feeling that you're the back up booty call and half way through securing the fake date excuse to try to get in your pants, the guy hears back from the original booty call and drops the conversation with no explanation?
Randomize