we put on a show in the hot tub for our boyfriends, then climbed out and both got down on our hands and knees and puked at the same time--still naked.
i woke facing the corner with my computer and i had googled "how to put out a fire" i am so scared to turn around
I thought short asians scared me, however seeing my first tall asian I'm terrified.
He has a chalkboard tally in his bathroom of "Me vs. Toilet". He's losing.
you were wandering around the street for like an hour singing "nothing but socks on"..an original you wrote after the 12th shot i believe
I tipped the hot bartender my entire wallet. Again.
I'd be a gr8 surrogate. I'm gonna love your fetus
Not rlly sure. Might just drink and sleep. Gotta wake up for my last rabies shot lol
Twice. I only peed my pants twice tonight.
If you had a dick, I would hope it falls off and comes back to haunt you while fucking your ears at night. But you don't. But if you did, that's how mad I am at you
i doubt you are even in possession of a crowbar.
I suggest you not find out the hard way
Hypothetically speaking...if I was arrested in Wisconsin, say Kenosha county, would you post my bail all the way from Oregon? If yes, will you also accept my collect call in t-minus 13 hours?
my grocery list today consisted of condoms. and butter.
umm... whats the butter for?
so he found out i have him as "average size" in my phone. fair to say we arnt going to be dating anymore
My boss just offered me a vodka mixed drink at work I do not have a real job
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