idk, i just don't think periods are something you can catch in a little cup.
How does, "Im sorry I was such an intoxicated bitch, I didn't mean anything I said" sound as an apology.
What would you say if I got first degree burns on my nipples from drinking coffee topless?
It was like riding a jackhammer on a train during an earthquake. THAT amazing.
Is it ironic that the girl with the horse face is also on the equestrian team?
He rode a broom down the stairs while we were mattress surfing. Naked. Buck ass naked. WTF
walk of shame to my ortho appointment. kids are staring. this little girl just asked her mom if she can havr glitter in her hair too.
So I'm at the VFW tonight and the shot special here is straight 151 for 2 dollars. They must hate our livers
If I come in tomorrow with a cane and a seeing eye dog it's because I just mixed up my salicylic acid acne stuff with my eye makeup remover
I can make a sex schedule on Excel and send it to you guys
We were having a serious discussion about Blue's Clues and I just kept thinking, 'you've seen me naked'.
Are u alive? If u are, you deserve an award.
Last time I "ran into him" I ended up with the clap and had to explain why the ladder was missing from the garage.
My mother is currently smoking weed with a dying bee so his last moments aren't miserable. And she wonders why I rescued a grasshopper missing a leg.
Remember that gum I swallowed 3 days ago? I just threw it up.... whole.
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