like if someone fucked a dictionary but instead of having a penis, it was just one of those leap frog educational toys
I hope to god you are high
Pls tell me she didnt actually sign a nutsack.
better to have posed nude and lost than to never have posed nude at all...thats what i always say
I may still return these pants. Depends how much they smell like alcohol by tmrw morning. I've already spilled once.
So. Much. Sex. I feel like i ran a marathon then someone kicked me in the vagina. Soo worth it
I don't think I'd trust a marching band with trampolines to not cause serious damage to themselves/ property.
you started looking at my couch laughing and saying to it "she thinks I'm talking to you" then proceeded to laugh and talk to the couch some more.
She told me about it right after. She said she was scared I would be disappointed. And I was, but I pretended not to be. Which pretty much sums up our relationship.
Honestly it's a super power. I can try it a million different ways and nothing happens. Donnie casually says "ok this is now a toppless party" and it all kicks-off
Strip Simon Says: DO IT
SOS... STANDING IN THE BAR NEXT TO MY BF AND THE GUY WHO I HOOKED UP WITH ON CHRISTMAS DAY..
He also deemed that the fact that I couldn't log into Netflix was not an emergency. He's wrong.
Your life is a soap opera of great sex, cats, and booze.
I just gave my boss a blowjob. underneath his desk at work. that promotion is mine!
There's a guy in a plaid shirt running around asking everyone if they want to head butt him
Randomize
