3:40 am: you never wrote back on my facebook wall
i think i'm in class. and blacked out.
At an apparent methhead hillbilly bar and was smiling for a pic when one toothless wonder screamed "look at all them teeth"!
it's a well known fact that sluts are attracted to bright colors
american apparel?
try lime green
there's a girl in the library on mysapce. she must have missed the memo.
sexting on a treadmill. speed 9.0 beat that slut!
Maybe you shouldn't go to cosmic bowling, i don't know if cum glows and I don't wanna find out i'm sure his parents don't either.
since when did our medecine drawer and our sex drawer become the same drawer? we now have lube covered cough drops.
I think I'm going to contact pbr and see if they'll sponsor our dreams
Hey, so, you were my "one phone call" last night... Thanks for not picking up. See, this is why I never call you.
I completely forgot I gave up beer. But airports don't count. They're like international waters. No rules.
Listen, I bought the coke that got us those free drinks, okay? Show some respect.
On the flip side, we did almost have sex wearing a gorilla mask and deer antlers.............
Since when is my clitoris pierced?
No bra. No panties. Makeup from last night. At work right now. I am trash.
Randomize
