did the walk of shame from ex-boyfriend's room only to find other ex-boyfriend sitting in the living room. some people shouldn't be allowed to be friends.
some people shouldn't be allowed to be desperate.
I'm towing my little brother down the road on a sixty year old tractor, we're taking up the whole highway, and no one cares. I love South Dakota.
and everytime i fart i feel like in your heart, you can hear it
Transgendered man at work dawning a slutty batman costume. I hate Halloween
I have to take his virginity. It's what God put me on earth for. It's my life mission.
I don't want to have to force feed him my vagina!!
The way I'm gonna look at it is, if you don't makeout with your roommate once in college, you didn't do something right.
Holy shit there is too much Taco Bell here to talk to you
I cancelled the entertainment for your b-day party.... Keep the bouncy castle just in case.
Wait, just ask him if can you can join in. You haven't lived until you've taken part in a threesome with your father...or so I've heard
This stupid maranara sauce stain sucks. It keeps distracting me and it looks like I'm staring at my tits.
I just watched my high school guidance counselor pee in the backyard of this party.
I just want to smoke weed and be the little spoon all winter. My modern day hibernation.
can you tell me why i woke up in a diaper and combat boots?
She meowed at me. Repeatedly. Then she asked what was wrong with me because I didn't understand her.
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